silently cursing and crying inside
alone in the dark
two voices quietly
whispering confessions behind closed doors
each word ringing loud in his broken heart
he knew it would never happen
he knew the younger boy/kibum/key would never truly love him,
not while jinki/onew/the oldest boy was around
but he pretended to be an idiot
pretended not to see
the burning looks that weren't for him
pretended not to hear
"i love you, hyung" whispered in the dead of night
even when he was dying inside
sleepless nights
writing songs of love and heartbreak
songs about the boy he loved
who didn't hear
how every word was for him
his sweet cruel voice
repeating a name that wasn't his
his crumbling facase falls away
the tears flow freely now
hours later
he sits silently
the table in front of him littered
with crumpled sheets of words and notes
eyes dry
waiting